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When We Fail
The moment we become saved by receiving the free gift that Jesus offers us, God begins to form us and mold us into the image of Jesus. It is a life-long process. It is important to realize this because no matter how hard we try to follow what we have learned in the Word about being a wife, there will be times that we mess up.
The more we read the Word of God, and the better that we know the Living God, the more we will love his commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.... for I delight in your commands because I love them. (Psalm 119:11, 47)
We will learn what God will is for us, and we will love His will and His way. But at times, we forget revert back to our behavior when walking according to the flesh and not to the Spirit. My husband will ask me an accusatory question, and without thinking I jump to my defense and soon we are yelling at each other and everything I know has just flown out the window. Then things calm, and I feel awful. I feel depressed "why did I do that? Why did I say those mean things and behave that way? I hate myself! When will I ever learn? Why can't I remember?" These are the kinds of questions you may ask yourself; I know that I have. A feeling of total failure may come over you; a feeling that all is lost and cannot be repaired.
Listen to the anguish that Paul expresses in this passage:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is not longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do -- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord! (From Romans)
Paul is my hero of the Bible because I can so relate to how he feels. I have felt what he expresses here so many times. But now I know that it is normal -- it is the battle between flesh and spirit that goes on in a Christian until the Day of Jesus. So each time we fail at following the perfect law, we should reflect on this passage and realize that we are not there yet.
He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)
When will the good work be complete? Not until Jesus comes again. One of my favorite versus is 1 John 3:2-3 because it gives me hope. Each time I fail I remember this:
Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him, purifies himself, just as he is pure.
I don't know about you, but nothing makes me happier than to know that I will someday be like Jesus. Not that I will be a god, but I will have the same qualities that Jesus had that we have seen in Jesus and desire...his love, purity and goodness. Paul desired to be like Jesus and to follow his commands; that is why he was so upset when he sins. It goes against everything that he knows is right and that he desires to be, but evil is right there popping up at unexpected times.
Another thing to remember is that on our own we can do nothing. It is impossible for us to be "good" and follow his commands by ourselves in our own strength. Jesus told his disciples how it is possible for them to bear good fruit:
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:4) (Read John 15:1-17 for complete text)
Probably the times that we fail are when we are not abiding in Jesus -- when our eyes are off Jesus.
Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith (Hebrews 12:2a)
My sister once gave me some good advice about failure. When you fail, do not condemn yourself and wallow in it. Confess it to God and RECEIVE His forgiveness, love, and mercy -- AND MOVE ON. Rejoice that God offers this kind of love and forgiveness, accept it, and experience it.