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Do The Things You Did At First
You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen. Repent and do the things you did at first. (Revelation 2:4b-5a)
Of course, our relationship with Jesus is what this verse is talking about and it is the most important relationship we have.
However, this can also be applied to marriage. What would happen if we did the things we did at first? Think upon your own marriage. Is there anything you do differently now than when you first married? If you've only been married a short time, did you do anything differently when you were dating? Most likely you do. When we are first in love, we do things for our mate -- not out of duty or responsibility or even because they asked us to. We do them for the sheer and utter joy of doing them because we love that person so much. It brings us joy to see them happy.
I was praying for my own marriage when God spoke this to my heart. "Do the things you did at first." When I was first married, the idea of having my husband living with me was so exciting. Each morning I would get up early for work and then I would then wake him up with hugs and kisses. Over time (a short time), I changed the way I do things. I started sleeping in until the last moment. It became "Get up! I'm only going to call you one more time!" Maybe I'd throw a pillow at him or rip his covers off -- whatever it takes to get him awake. Why did I change? I don't know, but God was telling me to do the things I did at first. This is only one example. If we think about our daily lives, we will surely recognize hundreds of things we did at first that now we don't.
What about nicknames. Did you used to call him "sweetheart" but now you don't?
Did you meet him at the door when he came and walked him to the door when he left, but now you take no notice? Did you once talk to him and now you don't? Whatever the case may be, if we do the things we did at first, great things may happen.
Some things are so simple, that people do not mention them, but so important that we must not forget them.
The Bible tells us some simple, yet very important, instructions on how to treat others. For the purpose of our study, we will apply these truths to our marriages. I believe it makes a world of difference!
"Greet one another with a holy kiss." (2 Corin. 16:20b)
Every since I have known my husband (10 years) I have always greeted him with a "Hi!" and he greets me back the same way. Everyday, every time we see each other anew. I remember being teased for this. Not everyone says "hello" everyday when some family member comes in the door, so we were thought to be strange. But I believe it has strengthened our relationship to just acknowledge one another's presence.
Have you every watched those "perfect family" television shows where the father comes home from work and the wife and children (and even the dog) run to the door to lavish him with hugs and kisses and exclaim "We're so glad you're home!" This may seem silly to some or even absurd. However, the moment the husband walks in the
door, he gets a first impression of what's awaiting him for the evening. If he is used to being yelled at, or scowled at, or simply ignored, he may have his defenses up before he even opens the front door.
Do not forget to do these things for the Lord and not for a "response" from your husband. You may not get one. The point is being obedient to the word of God which tells us how to treat people and how to love people. God sees what you do and will reward you for it.
Pray for your Marriage
Just as easy as it was to forget what we did at first in such a short time, we could forget again. Even if we put this into practice. It is so important to continue to pray for your marriage and to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. He will bring these things to your attention and then you can follow them. Dwell in the word and do not be deceived.
Praying to God is not a duty -- "something that we have to do." Prayer is a great privilege. God is as close as a thought away. He lives in you. Because of Jesus we can ask for help and God hears us and will help us. He is our loving father who awaits us to ask for help. God is the only One who can change things -- He has the power to do it.