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Brenda
It was 11:30 at night and I was in bed. I was in total despair. I just went to sleep in total darkness of the spirit. I said that I'd given up and couldn't even imagine how I would live another day. But off in the far distance, in the deep blackness of my spirit, I saw a tiny bit of a flame. I acknowledged it and things weren't quite so dark and seemed to be getting steadily brighter, I went to sleep. The next morning, I found that the world was a brighter, happier place. Everything seemed lighter and I was unsure why; since I was so completely lost the night before.
I went down to breakfast and told my husband that I was feeling better. It was a peaceful breakfast. The phone rang, it was my mother. That was so odd that I couldn't fathom why she was calling. She seldom calls me. She said she would be coming right over, I couldn't believe it. When she arrived she said that God gave her a bible verse for me, and that she was aware that I was really upset. I can't remember what the verse was, but it showed me that God really did care for me and that my feelings were important to Him.
That's when the world became transformed for me. Colors became brighter than they have for years, the sun was brighter, the air was fresher, the sky was bluer, and I felt as light as a spring day! I continued feeling happier and happier for a period of two weeks. I was the happiest that I've ever been in my life! I was so happy that I became scared. I actually thought that I might explode! I told God that I was beginning to get scared and immediately the feelings leveled out. They didn't die out, but continued on that same level for a month or so!
When we went on a trip, all I could do was look at the sky as we drove. I couldn't take my eyes off it! It was as if God was literally holding the earth in His arms against His chest like a father would hold his child. I realized that the color of God was a crystal blue. I actually saw God everywhere I looked! How totally awesome! I watched the sky every chance I could get for my more than daily glimpse of God! What a privilege!
I even had an experience as I was walking down the isle in my church! It seemed like I was 15 feet above the floor, looking down at the members of my church, who were just waiting in their seats, a little bored and tired from their day before. And God said to me that they were "Blessed". These were all the people that I admired and respected and were related to; the ones that I'd assumed that were lost. Then later God gave me a vision of Jesus cradling my church in his arms like a parent cradles a new born baby, looking tenderly at it and glowing with love. I was thrilled as you could imagine! He showed me that I was totally wrong to judge other's faith or where they are at in relationship to Jesus! I occasionally forget that lesson, but when I remember this vision, I change my mind.
Over the years, I've learned how to share my faith, and most importantly, I've learned the importance of exercising the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I believe that they are the key to being a real Christian. They are operating in all times in love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. I try to live my life by these, and to show the love of God to others by example. By exercising, I mean trying, and sometimes failing but always working at it, like you do when you lift weights. To get strong at something you exercise or practice. My life has changed forever and I'm thankful that I'll never be as I was before again. I'm Born again!!!
And in my church, over the years, I have run into people who have had experiences like I have. I'm overjoyed, and I no longer feel alone.
God is so good!